Do All Guys Want Anal Sex? (15 Men Respond Honestly)

Most women seem to be opposed to anal sex. That’s really no big surprise but as I was reading the comments on “What You Won’t Do Sexual on the First Night” I noticed that a lot of women’s objections to that particular sex act tended to waver if there was a ring on their finger. For every woman who responded, “Oh, hell no!” was the statement, “I’ll only do that with my husband.”

I can understand this philosophy of saving something “special” for your husband but if I can be so frank that’s a pretty sh*tty gift (pun intended). More specifically, who’s to say that your future husband even wants to ride the Hershey Highway? I mean, are so many women saving anal for their husband as some sort of “special” fantasy gift that he may not even want to accept? Or do women just think all men want to do it in the butt and are willing to concede to it for the spouse?

That all sounds nice in theory, but once again I have to ask: Who’s to say your husband wants to have anal sex anyway? The more I thought about that I realized that anal wasn’t very high on my things-to-do-with-my-future-wife list and began to wonder if I were alone. So I polled a few anonymous friends to see how many men actually wanted to do their wife (or any woman for that matter) in the butt.

Here’s what I asked the fellas:

Do men really want anal sex from their wife? Is that even something most men (you) are even interested in as much as women think we are? Would you rather do that with a jump-off when you’re single and feel like the mother of your kids should not be THAT freaky?

“I don’t think about anal at all actually. In my single days it’s always been a question asked by the women, I’ve never asked for it nor wanted it. It’s a muscle and I’m like, ‘Nah, I’m good,’ but women are more adventurous than men ever know. They’ll try things to keep their man interested and show their freak side.”

—Love Muscle Jones

“I say a hole is a hole, so this notion to only have anal sex with that special someone is bull. With that being said, I never had anal sex. I’m curious but at the same time, why neglect ‘the love below?’ I feel porn is the reason why the interest is out there, which is why I also think that’s why the notion of doing it with a wife is there. Guys want their wife to be a porn star for one night. Still, unless your girl is doing an enema the day of the backdoor entry, I would avoid it. Unless you like shitty bed sheets.

—Money Shot Smith

“I‘m probably missing out, but I don’t want anal sex from my woman or anyone else. The asshole seems too tender for me. I really believe it’s intended for exit only. I put my finger in there once (it was in my face so I said, ‘why not?’) and had a bit of trouble pulling it out. Plus, a few of my old jump-offs were scragglers. The stench while doing it doggy style made me rethink putting my joint in there. But I agree, women should NOT hold the freakiness ’til marriage. That just leads to NOT getting married.”

—Stanky Leg Johnson

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News Flash: Men Fake Too

Let me let you ladies in on a little secret, some men have been known to fake orgasms. Yes, you read correctly, a man can fake an orgasm too. Don’t believe it? You’re looking at one right now who has. (Technically you’re reading about one but no need arguing over semantics). I know that I can’t speak for every man, and maybe I’m alone in my handful of fake orgasms, but yup, I’ve faked the Big O.

I know the question running though most people’s minds right now is: “Why would a man need to fake it?” Same reason women do, to protect their partner’s feelings. Whenever I talk to my female friends about this topic it always seems to come as a big shock that a woman can be wack in the sack. Despite popular belief, just being there is NOT enough. Just as men can be a lame lay so can the fairer sex.

The woman who will undoubtedly go down as My Worst Partner Ever was a hollow log in the bedroom. She was someone I dealt with a few years back and just laid there like a blowup doll (not that I know how a blowup doll feels or anything). There was no caressing of the back. It was a struggle to move her from one position to the next—let alone get her on top and do some damn work. Cute girl, nice body, crazy intelligent, but just plain wack in the sack (Yawn!). But not one to hurt anyone’s feelings I faked it. Ooooh, oooh, baby, ooooh.

Initially I figured the first time was just jitters, so I gave her another shot. Wack squared. Third time’s the charm, right? Wrong! Wack cubed. Despite her lack of mobility in the bedroom she apparently enjoyed herself and got her rocks off, so I guess I can find some solace in knowing that at least one of us got something out of the experience. But yes I faked—thrice, and sadly it wasn’t my first time.

The first time I faked was actually way early on in my boning evolution. Me and my then-girlfriend had just gotten back together after a brief break. We hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks and hadn’t had an opportunity to have makeup sex yet, but we finally made plans for her to come out to my house and we both knew the deal. Mind you this was back in the Jodeci era, so I answered the door in a khaki green vest with no shirt on and my bird chest all exposed trying to be sexy. (I’m laughing just thinking about that one).

We chill for a bit and then I try to make a move, but she fronts. Okay, playing hard to get I see. Try to make a move again, same thing. She’s like, “Let’s watch a movie or something.” I’m never the one to go anywhere I’m not invited, so I cease and desist and begrudgingly pop in some random movie in the VCR (that stands for video cassette recorder for those that forgot).

Anyway, time goes by and the movie finishes. I look at the clock and I’m like, “We should probably start getting ready to leave, my mom will be home in like and hour and a half or so.” All of a sudden, her whole vibe switches up. “W-w-what? What time is it? What time does she come home? Why don’t you come sit down next to me for a bit….” Mentally, I had cut off all ideas of sex going down and just wasn’t in that zone anymore. But I am a man, and pussy is pussy, so I sat down. She made a move and we got it on right there on the living room floor (Remember rug burn?).?Just some good ol’ clean teenaged romper room action for sure. Problem was all the games and frontin’ on her man of two-and-a-half years had totally turned me off. Yeah, I came but there was no extra tingle, no orgasm, so I faked one. Oh, oh, yeeeeaaahhh, damn, baby…. blah, blah… ooohhhh.

It wasn’t that she was wack or anything, cause she always did her thing, but I just wasn’t mentally into it as much as I should have that particular time because of the preliminary mind games and frontin’. At the end of the day we all know that sex is more mental than it is physical and this was a prime example of that ringing true. This was my girl for years so she knew how I responded when we got down, so she sensed something was off and I wasn’t my usual self but I don’t think she thought that I faked it, but who really knows. (Fuck! I hope she doesn’t read this one….DOH!)

Thankfully, the need for me to fake has been few and far between. But every time I tell a chick one of the above stories they always look at me like, “What, a woman can be wack?” or “Oh, my God, men fake too?” For the record, yes and yes. Then again, I may be alone, but I’m sure just as a few brothers need to step their game up in the bedroom, some of you ladies got to as well. Put your back into it, move around, squirm, scratch a back, bite on a chain, do something, cause sometimes just being there is not enough. More importantly, though, stop frontin’ cause that’s shit is a turn off. If you wanna fuck, then fuck, especially if it’s ya man, boo, jump-off or whatever. What’s the point in holding back and potentially turning him off to the point where dude has to fake it and winds up labeling you wack? Do you really wanna be known as someone’s Worse Experience Ever? I didn’t think so…

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Are Big Breasts More Trouble Than They’re Worth?

WORDS BY SWEET NECTAR

For as long as I can remember I’ve had a love/hate relationship with my breasts. Coming up I knew two things for sure, I was an intelligent girl with big breasts. Not a day went by without it being reiterated constantly.

When I was younger I’ll admit I hated my breasts with a passion and did everything I could to hide them. In high school I wore bulky clothes and tried to dress like a boy, wearing hats and all to hide my lovely ladies, but if anything they were just put on bigger display.

I would walk down the halls of my high school with a book bag firmly placed in front of me trying to hide them. Everyday
someone would come up to me and say, “Damn, you got some big breasts,” like I hadn’t noticed them in the shower that very morning. Some were even audacious enough to ask me were they real. As if I’m going to be living in the ’hood and my parents decided to pay for breasts when I couldn’t even afford to go to college.

I hated my breasts so much. … Continue Reading

It’s So Hard…Well, Now

For the first half of the holiday break I was basically sick. No voice on Christmas, and laid up on my birthday. Based on that I wound up doing something I don’t get to do often because I’m always ripping and running, and that’s watch a little TV. In doing so I finally took note of an ad campaign I’ve always seen but never really paid much attention too. It’s the one with that creepy smiling guy named Bob and the whistling theme music. I’ve seen these spots a million times but never put two and two together that this was an ad for male enhancements. They’re very blatant in their innuendo but it just never registered with me, I just whistled the theme music and kept it moving. … Continue Reading

Does Size Matter? (What Women Say Behind Men’s Backs)

Last week I reached out to my male think tank to see what men love about women’s bodies—booty or breasts? The results were very interesting, to say the least.

Early on, though, some of the female readers made a request: “I hope you do one for us…like long tongue or long dick, lol…”

I’m always up for a battle of the sexes so turning the tables on the fellas was definitely something I was interested in doing. However, tongue vs. dick just didn’t seem to be the right analogy for the T&A Q&A. … Continue Reading