The Mystery of the Big Girl: Tasty Tuesday

• Tweet

• Tweet

In “Three is not a Crowd, Part 1“, Naomi is traumatized by her husband Oneil’s disapproval of her size.

I was traumatized like that, once.

When I danced 6 days a week, I was a size 9/10. A size 10 is considered ‘overweight’ for a dancer, as I was reminded often in dance class. It didn’t matter that I was as skilled and adept as the next girl. Even now, that I’m bigger, I am still a skilled dancer, a fact that surprises many. There seems to be quite the stigma…

And there is a stigma, believe me. There are some people who still look at the big girl and wonder how she got to be that big, or if they like themselves that size, or who loves a girl like that. Before I lost 50 pounds, someone who me that I would be sooo pretty if I would just lose 100 pounds or so.

O_o

I could’ve easily said, “well, you’d be so pretty if you…oh. wait. you wouldn’t be pretty anyway”. But I didn’t. It’s not necessary. Her commentary was simply indicative of being ignorant. Or at the very least, tactless.

I was born beautiful and I will die beautiful, whether I am a size 18 or a size 2. What makes me, and others like me, beautiful, lies my ability to carry myself in an educated and sophisticated manner. It’s my ability to weave words with a few strokes of a pen or a few typed words. It’s my ability to create ANYTHING in any kitchen you put me in. It’s my face. It’s my stride. It’s who I am. So if I decide to lose weight, then I lose weight because I want to. If I don’t, and I’m healthy (there are a LOT of skinny or slim UNHEALTHY people), then I just don’t. I learn to be who I am and anyone I encounter can take it or leave it.

There are so many young women and older women out there who are not confident in themselves and who feel that because they are big, they have to subject themselves to doing or being a certain way because they won’t attract anyone because of their size. The thing is, if you don’t have self esteem and self confidence, then it really doesn’t matter WHAT size you are, they’re not going to be attracted to you anyway. And chances are, you’re attracting the wrong man, because it takes a confident, strong man to love or appreciate a big girl, just like it takes a confident and strong man to appreciate any girl. Know who you’re attracting.

Some men find themselves trying to make a big girl feel special. I LOVE feeling special. I don’t need a pity special, though. See, the thing is, contrary to popular belief, I don’t have issues attracting anyone. I attract those who can handle me, as most women do. I laugh sometimes because some people are so surprised who they’ll see a big girl with. Like, “how’d she get him?” A big girl is a woman just like any other woman, and, if that big girl has the demeanor and the know how to get the man, then she’s walking away with the man. Gentlemen, ladies, no need to pigeonhole the big girl. Believe me.

Sometimes I don’t feel beautiful.

Yes, I said it. It had to be said.

Everyone has their days when they don’t feel at their best. There appears to be an assumption that a big girl is depressed or down most of the time, but the truth is, at least for me, I swear that last time I checked, I had ups and downs like any other woman. So I don’t always feel pretty. When I get like that, I go and I look in the mirror. Then I go to the kitchen. (Don’t laugh, I’m not going to EAT.) I go to my portfolio. My degree. My resume. My child. I go and I examine everything that makes me a “bad chick”…and then I go and relax and drink a glass of water because I done got myself too hot. *wink*

The point of my whole diatribe is that a big girl is no different than any other woman. Sure, maybe our body mass index is over the national average, but here’s a secret: So are most women. There are like, a handful of women who ACTUALLY fit into their BMI category…and if you’re one of them, good for you. If you’re not…ok, and?

Whether you are a big girl, an average size woman, ‘a skinny minny’, whatever category you fall into, be sure you hold your head up high…and be as fabulous as you can be. No one defines your fabulousity BUT you.

=oD

Twitter| http://twitter.com/#!/KayeMichele

Blog| http://strokeofprose.com/

* * Say Something Sweet Below  * *