Why I Mentor
This question has been on my mind lately. Why do I mentor? What do I get out of it? I think it has everything to do with my own experience as a teenager and the absolute madness I experienced when I thought I knew it all. We have all been teenagers and we know what it is like to feel like your back is up against the wall and almost like we are suffocating in our own skin. That is the worst feeling in the world for those of you who know what I am talking about.
Last week, Youth at Risk (my organization) had two incidents that reminded me why I do what I do. One of our programs is the Fatherhood Program which promotes support for young fathers who WANT to play an active role in their child’s life and who take the necessary steps to become a responsible parent and provider for their child. Many of the fathers who come to us are literally escaping the streets because they know that they next steps are prison or death. We are grateful when these brothas walk through our doors because we know that they are ready to put their past behind them really take the steps in the right direction.
In the same week, one of those young fathers was murdered in Brooklyn. He was shot dead and bled out on a street corner and of course, no one saw anything. That incident destroyed my day because we lost one. We lost a young dad whose child now has to grow up without her father and left a young girl to mourn her man. We do what we can do to deter our young dads from getting back into the lifestyle but it’s not so easy when you have the odds stacked against you. The other incident that broke my heart happened in Far Rockaway. Our Warriors Way Program that is based out in Far Roc, is designed for men to mentor boys who have no father in the home. This program is critical for reasons you can imagine but the situation seems more dire in Far Roc because there aren’t too many options for the young boys. It’s either join a gang, stay in your house or runaway from being jumped. One of our boys who successfully walked away from a gang was cornered and jumped last week. He was beaten, kicked, punched and the result being his having his jaw wired shut and several bruised ribs. What you see glamorized on TV: This is their reality.
These are just two incidents that reminds me of why mentoring is important. Most stories are actually more triumphant than tragic because of mentoring. However, we cannot be with the youth 24/7 but what we do is get into their minds that someone cares, someone actually gives a damn what happens to them and believe it or not that can be the choice between joining a gang and going to school or the choice between having risky unprotected sex and choosing to wait a while. It is critical for both men and women to mentor but it seems to be URGENT for these young men. Even some of you know the perils and hardships of being a black/brown man in America and you KNOW that if you did not have a positive influence in your life where you could have ended up. Some of us are more privileged than others to have grown up in a safe environment. However, what happens to the kid who goes home with constant cigarette and marijuana smoke? Or the kid who has an addict for a mom who sleeps with whomever and doesn’t have enough money to feed her kids but enough money for drugs? Or the kid that HAS to prostitute in order to feel worthy and support herself? I wish these were hypothetical instances I was giving to you but these are the kids that we currently have and will constantly get because this is an unfortunate epidemic and a problem in NYC.
The solution is stepping up and transforming a child’s life. I know who intervened in my life and I am grateful for her. I wasn’t in an abusive household but I was certainly spiraling into a negative web and it seemed like there was no way out. My mentor got me and listened to me and took the steps she needed to make sure I did not drown.
My mentee is outstanding and she isn’t at risk per say but she definitely needs an outlet to voice her concerns, fears, joys, happiness and accomplishments. I encourage all of you to consider mentoring and seeing how you can impact the life of a young person. Actually you aren’t just impacting their life, consider that you might be saving it, literally.
Thank you for reading this and I encourage you to pass this along to your people who you know want to give back and who actually will make time for something so urgent and serious. I appreciate you and look forward to talking to any of you who have questions, concerns or comments.
With Love and Respect,
Tahira
NY Youth At Risk Unlocking Futures
116 John St Suite 2200
212-791-4927
Orientations are every Monday
7:00pm to 8:30pm
*Love is the answer*
Choose to follow these three rules for a blissful and happy life.
1. Love everyone
2. Love everyone all the time
3. Love everyone all the time for no reason.
Let me begin by saying I am glad that you do what you do. You are an ace and keep up the good work.
I am a teacher and know first hand what the students go through. I teach middle school and my children have a lot against them…peer influence being a big part of it. Although I teach math, I take the time out in the class to let the students speak freely. Someone in the room will say or ask a question that another is thinking. They love it, the fact that someone wants to listen that someone cares. More than anything, they need consistency. I make sure that I make myself readily available for them.
But I thank you for sharing…this is a must read!
Let me begin by saying I am glad that you do what you do. You are an ace and keep up the good work.
I am a teacher and know first hand what the students go through. I teach middle school and my children have a lot against them…peer influence being a big part of it. Although I teach math, I take the time out in the class to let the students speak freely. Someone in the room will say or ask a question that another is thinking. They love it, the fact that someone wants to listen that someone cares. More than anything, they need consistency. I make sure that I make myself readily available for them.
But I thank you for sharing…this is a must read!
In related news, Gatorade recently terminated its sponsorship agreement with Tiger Woods along with dropping the saying, “Is it in you?” Nike will keep Tiger as a spokesman and keep with the slogan, “Just do it.”
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