Top Love Making Techniques #12

Chinese Field Goal

The next time you order Chinese take-out, ask for the free pair of
chopsticks and give this technique a try. It lets your woman feel you in areas that you normally could not reach.

Here’s What You Need:
One pair of chopsticks.
Here’s How You Do It:
Get your woman disrobbed. Have her lie on her back with her knees bent
and legs slightly apart.
Whip out the chopsticks. If they’re made of wood, make certain there are
no splinters (it’s amazing how one, loan splinter can ruin your entire
evening).
Place each chopstick along the outer edge of your woman’s Va Jay Jay lips.
Use your thumb and fingers to gently roll each fold of skin around the
chopstick. You need to do this before her Va Jay Jay gets too moist;
otherwise, her skin will not want to remain rolled up around the
chopsticks.
The chopsticks will now resemble goal posts. Your tongue is going to be
the football. To kick a field goal, you must place the football between the
goal posts and indulge in some serious oral pleasuring.
When your woman has achieved a terrific orgasm, give yourself three points

Say what you mean

I think the one thing that bothers me about women is their ability to rationalize their crazy behavior. It doesn’t matter what was said at the time, the next day is a totally different story and they want to be treated like everything is fine. Doesn’t matter how they acted or what they said, it was in the past and this is a new day.

That’s ludicrous to me. Seems like women can fly off the handle, say anything, do anything and then justify it by saying they were “emotional” or “stressed” or “trippin.” And when you call them on it, you are the bad guy because, “That’s just the way I am!” So you KNOW exactly how you act crazy but don’t take any steps to improve your situation. Sounds dumb to me. But then again, who am I but a simple man that says what he means and means what he says.

Yup, simple indeed.

Leave Tony Romo alone!!

Yeah, I said it. Leave the man alone.

Now, its been made perfectly clear that if you’ve read this site (www.EdtheSportsFan.com) enough times to know that Ed is not a fan of the Dallas Cowboys, at all. The simple reason is that of overkill, as in growing up in Oklahoma and all of your friends being Dallas Cowboys fans, its gets real old.

You know what else gets old? Hearing folks complain and whine about #9 on Dallas. Tony Romo should be considered a God-send to all Cowboys fans, because lets be perfectly clear about who Tony Romo is and where he came from….

He was an undrafted QB out of Eastern Illinois, a Division 1-AA school, in 2003 and didn’t play until the middle of the ’06 season while he was a 3rd or 4th string backup behind the likes of former Cowboys’ quarterbacks such as Chad Hutchinson, Quincy Carter, Drew Henson, 58-year old Vinny Testaverde. Finally, at halftime of that fateful game against the New York Giants, Tony Romo secured the starting gig for the world’s most famous football franchise.

What I’m trying to say here is this, understand what you really have here at QB. You have a diamond in the rough, someone like Romo hardly ever slips through the cracks nowadays, with recruiting services, youtube, and 7-10 scouts per college team and pro team. So give blessings to the scout who pegged Romo as a sleeper, Coach Parcells for the courage to put him on the field, and to Sean Payton (former offensive coordinator of Dallas) for getting him ready to perform on the center stage. Remember Sean Payton wanted to trade for Romo once he secured the Saints job, he offered a 3rd rounder, Jerry Jones said he wouldn’t take less than a 2nd. Smart move Jerry.

So when I see the ridicule (Tony Dorsett) hate (Emmitt Smith) and utter arrogance (Troy Aikman) from former Cowboys legends talk about #9, I need them to all fall back for a second. If I was a Cowboys fan, I’d pray for a much more competent coach than who he has now (Wade Phillips). Think about who Dorsett played for (Tom Landry) or who Smith and Aikman played for (Jimmy Johnson) and realize that Romo’s going against the grain on this one. You should’ve never let Parcells go. I blame the supposed wunderkind offensive coordinator in Jason Garrett and his dream to stretch the field. I understand why you would want to do that and Romo’s damned good at it, but I see Romo make more mistakes forcing balls to players who aren’t open. He does it too much. This team’s best strength are its backs out the backfield (how about some screens for Barber/Jones/Choice) and receivers who would work better running slants and drags, because their o-line can’t hold up for longer than 2-3 seconds.

Plus, I’m sorry, but the Cowboys’ defense isn’t that great either. They got some athletes, but other than DeMarcus Ware, I don’t fear anyone on that D. Terrence Newman is not a #1 corner, been saying it for years, yet you all won’t get him any help. You aren’t the Patriots either, so stop bringing in old and crusty linebackers (Zach Thomas, Keith Brooking) and get some playmakers (passed on Rey Maualuga) or something.

Let me say this too, Cowboys fans…stop using Terrell Owens as a scapegoat for previous’ seasons failures. Just stop. Look, Tony Romo is a really good QB, but take a step back for a second. The ‘Boys are 1-1. They lost to the ’07 Super Bowl Champions by a field goal. The Cowboys are relevant because of Romo, let’s be clear. I’m gonna say it again, you all should’ve never let Parcells go. So Romo is your guy, and honestly I’m not sure he’ll ever be great, but he can make great plays from time to time and is a top 7 QB in this league. Quit expecting him to be the next Roger Staubach and just let him be Tony Romo, otherwise you will all be mad, upset, and carrying ulcers while looking at him throw another interception forcing the ball into triple coverage on that Green Mile of a flat screen TV in Texas Stadium.

AM I WRONG ABOUT ROMO? OR IS ALL OF THE COWBOYS PROBLEMS HIS FAULT? LET US KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS!

-Ed.
www.edthesportsfan.com

Ed the Sports Fan

Eddie Maisonet, III aka Ed The Sports Fan is a twenty-something sports & lifestyle blogger born and raised in Oklahoma, now presiding in Cincinnati. He’s not only a a contributor for GraeGram, but also Blitz Magazine, American Dreaming Mag, and The Fresh Xpress. Primarily, he’s the creator and writer of the 2008 Best Black Sports Blog on the net, www.edthesportsfan.com, check him out!

Another great NY secret:Queens County Farms

In my Labor Day article, I mentioned Queens County Farm. No, you do now have to go far. Yes, we have a farm, right here in New York!! Here are some of the events going on for you and your friends and family.

Everything here is pretty much in October, but right now they have THE AMAZING MAIZE MAZE sponsored by Con Edison. It’s going on from
 September 19 til November 1
(Saturdays and Sundays) until the end of October.
11:00 am – 4:30 pm. Yes, a real maze! 
 There’s also a Moonlight Maze walk on Saturdays, Oct. 10th and Oct. 17^th. On those days, the maze itself will be opened until 9:00 pm. The maze will also be open on Monday, October 13 (Columbus Day) from 11:00 am – 4:30 pm. Sounds like fun to me, I like getting lost sometimes.


Admission: Adults $8.00,
Children  ages 4-11 $5.00, Toddlers 3 and under: Free

PICK-YOUR-OWN-PUMPKIN at Queens County Farm 
OCTOBER 3 – 31 (and Halloween, Oct. 31) 
11:00 am –  4:00 pm
PICK-YOUR-OWN-PUMPKIN SATURDAYS & SUNDAYS (Pumpkins are cantaloupe size and smaller) 
October is pumpkin month at the Farm Museum!  Find the perfect pumpkin. Price of pumpkins will be determined by size of pumpkin. A fun farm treat for the whole family! Admission to the pumpkin patch is… Free!!

Then there’s the Apple Festival at Queens County Farm 
Sunday, October 4 from 11:00 am – 4:00 pm 
A large variety of apples, apple products, and freshly pressed cider (my favorite!) will be available. The nation’s largest apple cobbler will be baked on site. There will be food, hayrides and free children’s games. What more could you ask for? Oh, I forgot.
Admission: Free!!

BOO! Who needs to go to Six Flags when you can go to the Halloween Haunted House! October 24, 25, and 31 
It’s open from 
4:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. 
Saturdays and Sundays.


Besides the haunted house, there’s hayrides, Halloween treats,  pumpkins and apples will still be there! The haunted house is recommended for children ages 4–12. Adults will find it creepy too! 
Admission: $4.00
Hayrides: $2.00 per person

October 25
Children’s Fall Festival 
11:00 a.m.–4:00 p.m. 
Sunday 
Halloween fun for children of all ages. Youngsters are invited to wear their costumes! There will be games, including sack races and trinkets-in-the-haystack, plus ponyrides and a petting zoo.  There will be food, country western music and dancing. 
Admission: $5.00 per person

*The haunted house is open 1:00 p.m.–7:00 p.m. and is recommended for ages   4–12.   Haunted House admission is $4.00 per person.

The Queens Farm Museum is open all year-round, Monday—Friday 9:00 a.m.—5:00 p.m. (outdoor visiting only) and Saturday and Sunday 10:00 a.m.—5:00 p.m. when tours of the historic farmhouse and hayrides (weather permitting) are available.

General Admission is free (except on special event days and for all group visits at all times).

You know me, I am 100% for family fun and I am 110% for family fun in NYC!

To get there by Subway and Bus:
E or F Train to Kew Gardens/Union Turnpike Station. Then take the
Q46 Bus (eastbound on Union Turnpike.) to Little Neck Parkway Stop.
Cross Union Turnpike and walk North on Little Neck Parkway. It’s 3 blocks to Museum Entrance.

To get there by Long Island Railroad:
Take the Port Washington Line to Little Neck Station
(24 hr. Car Service is located at station)
Car service to Farm Museum (about a 2 ½ mile drive)

I can’t wait to take the kids. And who knows, maybe when you go, I’ll see you there!

Lalah McD, a New York native and aficionado, walks around New York City and its Five Boroughs, finding ways to help tourists (not look like tourists) and find their way. (She calls it her calling in life)

The Windows Experience Index.

Do you know what your computers base score is? Do you even know what microsoft base score is? Did you know there was one?

The base score of your computer is Microsoft’s way of rating your computer’s performance capabilities.The official name is the “Windows Experience Index” I did a little bit of scratching around in Microsoft’s literature to find out that there are 5 components: